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Breaking Up with Someone You Love: How to Do It the Right Way

By Tom | Last updated on

I might be hard and confusing, but there are situations where two people that are in love have to take different ways. There are circumstances where the relation has worn out already and the best thing you could do is stop before everything becomes toxic.Breaking up with someone you lovecan be hard, but you will make sure that you won’t hurt each other and that you will be able to be maintain a healthy friendship if both of you would like to do that.

Breaking Up With Someone You Love

The Worst Reasons for Breaking Up with Someone You Love

We have already pulled the rope many times, we have given the pertinent opportunities and we have seen that the thing does not work. It doesn’t matter how hard we’ve tried; things always end up crashing down. In these cases, things are clear, a breakup is a must. Cherish the good times, and try to forget the bad ones, and let time heal yourself.

Most of the times, it is difficult to leave a relationship even if you see things are not like they used to be. There are three reasons for this resistance. The first one, we are afraid of change, of taking risks, of leaving our comfort zone. Second, because of the fear of not finding something better and thinking that 'the bad things known are better than the good things to be known' and third, because of the fear of being alone, even feeling excluded from the social groups in which we move not as an individual person, but as a couple.

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There are many different reasons why we should consider ending a relationship. These are the some of them. If you feel identified with some of these reasons it is the time to say: enough is enough.

1. The relationship has become very toxic

When we see that the relationship is becoming toxic for us, it is better to leave it and keep the good things from that experience. At that moment when we realize that the relationship is harmful to us, it is better to keep the good memories and cut it before we start to create more negative feelings than we have now and that may have repercussions for us or for the other.

2. Your partner Is dragging you down

One of the objectives of life is to be able to live with serenity and fulfillment, However, sometimes we seem to forget this because "living with someone who hinders you, who does not add to you, who puts obstacles in your way, who has jealous behavior and, in extreme cases, who does not respect or value you, this is living a half-hearted life. You need to value your quality of life and decide to move on, you owe it to yourself.

3. Feelings have changed

If we have noticed that we don't feel the same for that person, we don't miss him/her and we don't want to share things that we used to want to share. Then it is better to make things clear and above all to be sincere with the other person, maybe our partner is in love with us and stretching the relationship just because it hurts the other person.

4. Sex is not the same

If sex is missing, something important is wrong in the relationship. When you look at your partner more as a roommate than as a lover or you notice that your partner no longer looks at you with the same desire as before, it is more than clear: the relationship is not going well, in fact, it is not going well at all. However, when we talk about sexuality we are not only referring to the moment of bed, but also about complicity, looks, affection, details…

5. Communication Breakdown

Communication is essential in a couple, if there is no communication, the relationship becomes quite complicated. If this bad communication persists over time, if arguments persist, if one part of the couple does not feel listened to or feels inferior to the other then it is the time to leave it.

6. Lack of commitment

When one of the two wants to take a step forward in the relationship and the other person does not, the continuity of the relationship is in jeopardy. For example, when one of the two wants to move in with the other, get married, have children etc.

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How to Breaking Up with Someone You Love

Is not common that many people opt to take an easy option: ghosting, disappearing without a trace. Easy solution?, yes, but also unacceptable, ghosting is nothing more than an indicator of a person's lack of affective responsibility, immaturity and inability to manage their emotions. The coward's way of doing things.

Let’s see how you can properly break up with someone you love.

1. Be sure of your decision

Make sure you really want to end the relationship permanently. Never break up with someone you want to get back together, because even if you try again, you will have caused damage that may be irreparable. And it is normal that the rejected person does not want to come back.

2. Prepare your partner for the conversation

Prepare your partner for the conversation. Don't blurt it out while he or she is telling you something else, or refueling, or in the middle of the supermarket. Find a nice place, a quiet park, a beach at sunset, a chic cafe, to tell them what's going on with you. And if it is a long-distance relationship, meet as soon as possible, in person or by skype, to talk directly.

3. Talk about yourself

Don't make your partner feel that he/she has failed, that he/she is to blame for something, even if he/she is a toxic person, who has slept with half the town behind your back and is incapable of controlling his/her anger. Put all the blame on yourself, although we already know that when something doesn't work out between two people, there is no one to blame.

4. Avoid unnecessary roughness

Everyone deserves to be told the truth, but at the same time, there are certain things that only hurt feelings without serving any constructive purpose. If you have been thinking about ending the relationship for some time, there are probably things about your partner that irritate you terribly: that he is always late, that he leaves hairs in the shower, that he talks with set phrases, his mania for order to the point of obsession. Avoid falling into reproach, you have decided to end the relationship, but the things that bother you for another person are not a problem, they can even be a virtue.

5. Don’t expect to remain friends

Be prepared for the possibility that the person may be too hurt to remain friends, at least at first. The breakup can be very emotional for everyone involved. Don't expect to be friends immediately after the breakup. If the relationship has dragged on unnecessarily, there are bound to be grudges and reproaches. The secret to remaining friends is not to prolong a deteriorated relationship.

6. Move on

Once everything is done, move on, don’t act like things are the same and keep contacting the other person all the time like you use to do it when you were together. It is time to start walking a new path, and start the needed healing process.

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Breaking up with some you love is hard, but sometimes is the best for your life. Make the effort and open yourself for the new things that life has for you.

How to Move On After Breaking Up with Someone You Love

Overcoming a breakup is a source of stress for both partners. Relationships are a primary source of happiness and satisfaction for most, so their breakdown can become a major source of distress. In any situation of romantic breakup there is usually both an increase in psychological distress and a reduction in the level of life satisfaction of the person.

1. Manage your emotions in the phases of grief.

If you have to cry, cry, but don't let sadness take over. Pain only brings more pain if your life only focuses on it. Stop watching American love comedies, take a shower and go outside. The fresh air will do you good to disconnect and look at things differently.

2. Don’t let anger control you.

If you think that hating someone can help you get over them, you are wrong. You have to forgive and look forward to the future with the biggest smile on your face. Hatred and resentment towards other people will only serve to keep them in your head.

3. Don't idolize your ex

Don't listen to his favorite song, don’t make an altar with his possessions and don't write to him if you have nothing to say to him. Don't make scenes and, of course, don't beg him. All these actions will only hurt you more. Remember that if it's over, it's because there is a reason. So, internalize that reason and get back to your normal life as soon as possible.

4. Disconnect from social media

They are the great enemy of overcoming a breakup. If you go into your ex's profile to find out every step he/she takes, with whom, how, when and why? DON'T DO IT. Going through every move of his life will not make you happier nor will it help you forget him; you may even become obsessed.

5. Get support with your family and friends

Go out, have fun, meet your friends, your family, make plans. Do what you want and when you want. Just try not to talk only about your ex. And, of course, let the rest talk: you will be surprised by the healing power of listening. If you are one of those who left your friends aside, ask for forgiveness to get them back.

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6. When you are ready, start a new relationship.

After time has done is job and you feel healed you can start a new relationship. Go out and do things were you can meet new people. People that like the same things as you, so you can have better chances at finding somebody who is compatible with you. You can always use online dating sites to meet people that are near you and have similar interests. You can use PlusCupid, a place where you can meet sincere people looking for a long-lasting relationship.

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Wrapping it up

Breaking up with someone you lovecan be a hard thing to do, but often is the best thing to do, for the sake of both partners. Every second that you spent on a bad relationship will hurt yourself more, so take a analyze the situation and if you have to take a bold step, then do it. Remember life doesn’t end there, you will eventually meet someone else and now, using dating sites like PlusCupid, it is easier than ever to get in touch with people, with sincere feelings to carry on with your life. We know is not easy, but it will be the best for you.

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